New ask Hacker News story: Ask HN: How do I know that I am authistic?
Ask HN: How do I know that I am authistic?
5 by anon76334678 | 4 comments on Hacker News.
I live a pretty confusing life. I am sure that something is wrong. I'm 35 and since the birth of my daughter I feel even more apart from "normal" behavior than before. I have had several different therapists and autism has always been ruled out. My behavior is attributed to my intelligence. But I don't believe that. I have approached problems methodically and functionally for as long as I can remember. I am infatuated with problem solving. I find maintaining social interactions and simple friendships not easy and rather exhausting. Approaching strangers is extremely difficult for me. I have noticed over the years that I am not only very systematic at work, but also with people. At the same time I have impulsive emotional outbursts for the most trivial reasons. For example, it can be that I have to go to someone to deliver something. Or partly shopping and asking for something. Or a screaming child. I can handle most things by now. I still don't like to go shopping, but I do it because I have learned to position myself differently with my thoughts. I have learned to act, I can talk and behave in the best social manner. I have only been able to read people well since I was about 16. I have a library of behavior patterns in my head and try to deduce something from them. Now as a father, the world looks very different. Every day I am confronted with a screaming child, it whines or it laughs. What I have to say is that I am not cold and I love my child. But I can not cope with many things. I realize how much my analytical approach brings nothing. I try to comfort and play. But what I noticed made me think. It always feels like a new problem, I can't get used to it. Everyone who has a child knows that it is a similar game every day. But I find it hard to understand the behavior. Sure I understand why kids scream, I know they have no other way to express themselves. I understand that a child has needs and I give her as much love as I can. But in the back of my mind I always have the problem that needs to be solved. Which prevents me from accepting it and developing a routine. So what is wrong? Or are all people like that? Why on hackernews? I had already tried about others. Social networks to achieve something, but unfortunately I did not find an adequate answer. Since I am here often, I know about the great community and just hope for understanding and not so much for a concrete answer. Maybe someone is going through the same thing. About myself: I have been in therapy for other reasons. I suffer from panic attacks and anxiety. Which also narrow down to social interactions. I am a happy person. I do not have depression. Our child is doing great and we are also very happy with each other. Why anonymous? For internet reasons.
5 by anon76334678 | 4 comments on Hacker News.
I live a pretty confusing life. I am sure that something is wrong. I'm 35 and since the birth of my daughter I feel even more apart from "normal" behavior than before. I have had several different therapists and autism has always been ruled out. My behavior is attributed to my intelligence. But I don't believe that. I have approached problems methodically and functionally for as long as I can remember. I am infatuated with problem solving. I find maintaining social interactions and simple friendships not easy and rather exhausting. Approaching strangers is extremely difficult for me. I have noticed over the years that I am not only very systematic at work, but also with people. At the same time I have impulsive emotional outbursts for the most trivial reasons. For example, it can be that I have to go to someone to deliver something. Or partly shopping and asking for something. Or a screaming child. I can handle most things by now. I still don't like to go shopping, but I do it because I have learned to position myself differently with my thoughts. I have learned to act, I can talk and behave in the best social manner. I have only been able to read people well since I was about 16. I have a library of behavior patterns in my head and try to deduce something from them. Now as a father, the world looks very different. Every day I am confronted with a screaming child, it whines or it laughs. What I have to say is that I am not cold and I love my child. But I can not cope with many things. I realize how much my analytical approach brings nothing. I try to comfort and play. But what I noticed made me think. It always feels like a new problem, I can't get used to it. Everyone who has a child knows that it is a similar game every day. But I find it hard to understand the behavior. Sure I understand why kids scream, I know they have no other way to express themselves. I understand that a child has needs and I give her as much love as I can. But in the back of my mind I always have the problem that needs to be solved. Which prevents me from accepting it and developing a routine. So what is wrong? Or are all people like that? Why on hackernews? I had already tried about others. Social networks to achieve something, but unfortunately I did not find an adequate answer. Since I am here often, I know about the great community and just hope for understanding and not so much for a concrete answer. Maybe someone is going through the same thing. About myself: I have been in therapy for other reasons. I suffer from panic attacks and anxiety. Which also narrow down to social interactions. I am a happy person. I do not have depression. Our child is doing great and we are also very happy with each other. Why anonymous? For internet reasons.
Comments
Post a Comment