New ask Hacker News story: Tell HN: The impossibility of earning a living, being stupid
Tell HN: The impossibility of earning a living, being stupid
6 by bzm | 2 comments on Hacker News.
I need to vent. Sorry if this comes out mangled and repetitive; emotions cloud my mind. My working life has been a failure. I’m in my thirties and I have only had a couple jobs, all between the age of 16 and early 20s. I lost them for various reasons: stupidity, clumsiness, distraction and excessive daydreaming. Needless to say, I might have missed the train to financial stability and employability. Especially so because I didn’t finish high school. I don’t know if I can change my situation or if I should resign myself to waiting for death. Time will tell. It doesn't help that I'm overwhelmed by guilt because my partner supports me financially, making me wonder if she would be better off without me. She is the only person who cares about me and she is the kindest and most patient person I know; I hate myself for being a burden to her. I really do. I want to change it but it looks like a fight against myself. What I do all this time? I try to do my best at housekeeping: cleaning, cooking, doing laundry, keeping plants healthy, fixing house problems...The rest of the time is spent sending a resume here and there, reading, writing and studying topics ranging from literature to mathematics. Mostly in my native language. The only thing left is curiosity, but one can’t eat with curiosity alone. For some time I even pursued the illusory and unsuccessful idea that I could create startups without having the essential requirement of ability; mental or physical I don’t know. My only success, if you can call that, is having her get a job as a programmer, a better and stable one, after having taught her programming for a few months and preparing her for the interview. She has a university degree and decent work experience to show though; me? Not even a high school degree and almost no job on my resume. It's understandably skipped by employers.
6 by bzm | 2 comments on Hacker News.
I need to vent. Sorry if this comes out mangled and repetitive; emotions cloud my mind. My working life has been a failure. I’m in my thirties and I have only had a couple jobs, all between the age of 16 and early 20s. I lost them for various reasons: stupidity, clumsiness, distraction and excessive daydreaming. Needless to say, I might have missed the train to financial stability and employability. Especially so because I didn’t finish high school. I don’t know if I can change my situation or if I should resign myself to waiting for death. Time will tell. It doesn't help that I'm overwhelmed by guilt because my partner supports me financially, making me wonder if she would be better off without me. She is the only person who cares about me and she is the kindest and most patient person I know; I hate myself for being a burden to her. I really do. I want to change it but it looks like a fight against myself. What I do all this time? I try to do my best at housekeeping: cleaning, cooking, doing laundry, keeping plants healthy, fixing house problems...The rest of the time is spent sending a resume here and there, reading, writing and studying topics ranging from literature to mathematics. Mostly in my native language. The only thing left is curiosity, but one can’t eat with curiosity alone. For some time I even pursued the illusory and unsuccessful idea that I could create startups without having the essential requirement of ability; mental or physical I don’t know. My only success, if you can call that, is having her get a job as a programmer, a better and stable one, after having taught her programming for a few months and preparing her for the interview. She has a university degree and decent work experience to show though; me? Not even a high school degree and almost no job on my resume. It's understandably skipped by employers.
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